Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was already stuffed!
Open →What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
A dino-snore!
Open →Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because it felt crummy!
Open →What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
Open →Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it's two-tired!
Open →What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing — it just waved!
Open →Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well!
Open →What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Open →How does the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it!
Open →What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
Open →Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools!
Open →What do you call a cow that can play an instrument?
A moo-sician!
Open →What did one plate say to the other?
Dinner is on me!
Open →Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because they wanted to go to high school!
Open →What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
Open →What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Open →Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use honeycombs!
Open →What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
Open →Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one!
Open →What's a cat's favorite color?
Purr-ple!
Open →How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
Open →What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
Open →Why was the math book sad?
It had too many problems!
Open →What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
Open →Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
Open →What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Hi, bud!
Open →Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
Open →What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A try-and-try-ceratops!
Open →What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet!
Open →Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Open →What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Open →What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
Open →Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!
Open →What animal is always at a baseball game?
A bat!
Open →What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious!
Open →Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Open →What do you call a train that sneezes?
Achoo-choo train!
Open →Why did the owl invite his friends over?
He didn't want to be owl by himself!
Open →What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croak-a-cola!
Open →What do you call a duck that gets all A's?
A wise quacker!
Open →Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus!
Open →What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!
Open →How do you talk to a giant?
Use big words!
Open →What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Open →Why did the pencil get a prize?
It was sharp!
Open →What do you call a dog that can tell time?
A watch dog!
Open →What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we'll go places!
Open →Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts!
Open →What do you get if you cross a fish and an elephant?
Swimming trunks!
Open →Why did the cow cross the road?
To get to the udder side!
Open →What is a pirate's favorite letter?
Arrrrr!
Open →Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes!
Open →What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A stick!
Open →How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz!
Open →What is a snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-tory!
Open →Why couldn't the pony sing?
Because she was a little hoarse!
Open →What goes up but never comes down?
Your age!
Open →What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato!
Open →Why do birds fly south in winter?
Because it's too far to walk!
Open →What kind of music do planets like?
Neptunes!
Open →Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer so long!
Open →Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
The baa-baa shop!
Open →What do you call a shoe made from a banana?
A slipper!
Open →Why did the robot go on vacation?
To recharge its batteries!
Open →What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
Comet!
Open →What kind of key opens a banana?
A mon-key!
Open →What do you call a pile of kittens?
A meow-ntain!
Open →Why did the sun go to school?
To get brighter!
Open →What's brown and sticky?
A stick!
Open →What does a cloud wear under its raincoat?
Thunderwear!
Open →Why are ghosts bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
Open →What do you call a crocodile at the North Pole?
Lost!
Open →What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese!
Open →Why did the kid throw the clock out the window?
To see time fly!
Open →What do you call a bear in the rain?
A drizzly bear!
Open →Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!
Open →What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
An envelope!
Open →What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus!
Open →What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated!
Open →Why do cows like to be told jokes?
They like being amoooosed!
Open →What did the pencil say to the paper?
Write on!
Open →Why did the banana wear sunscreen?
So it wouldn't peel!
Open →What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
Open →How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten-tickles!
Open →Why was the broom late for school?
It over-swept!
Open →What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open-toad sandals!
Open →What vegetable do sailors dislike?
Leeks!
Open →What is a cat's favorite dessert?
Mice cream!
Open →Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
Open →What do clouds do when they become rich?
They make it rain!
Open →What's a ghost's favorite dessert?
I-scream!
Open →Where do cows go on Friday night?
To the moo-vies!
Open →What did one wall say to the other wall?
Meet you at the corner!
Open →What is a frog's favorite game?
Hopscotch!
Open →How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
Open →What do you call a train full of bubblegum?
A chew-chew train!
Open →Why did the leaf go to the doctor?
It was feeling green!
Open →What did the big candle say to the little candle?
You're too young to go out!
Open →Why are elephants so wrinkly?
Have you ever tried to iron one?
Open →What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A power plant!
Open →Why did the kid put sugar under his pillow?
To have sweet dreams!
Open →What's the best way to talk to a monster?
From very far away!
Open →Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken's foot!
Open →What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind?
A maybe!
Open →Why did the sheep go to space?
To visit the Milky Baa!
Open →What do you call a happy cowboy?
A jolly rancher!
Open →Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Open →What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer!
Open →What does a snail say when riding on a turtle's back?
Wheeee!
Open →Why was the math book always calm?
It knew how to count to ten!
Open →What did the zebra say to the fly?
You're on my stripe!
Open →What do you call a witch at the beach?
A sand-witch!
Open →What is a ghost's favorite game?
Hide-and-shriek!
Open →What do mummies like to listen to?
Wrap music!
Open →Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with!
Open →What room does a ghost not need?
A living room!
Open →How do you fix a broken jack-o'-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!
Open →What did the big pumpkin say to the little pumpkin?
Hey there, pumpkin!
Open →Why do bats hang out so much?
Because they have so many hang-ups!
Open →What is a monster's favorite treat?
Ghoul-aid and booberry pie!
Open →What did one autumn leaf say to the other?
I'm falling for you!
Open →Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove it wasn't chicken!
Open →What kind of music do turkeys like best?
Anything with a good drumstick!
Open →